Ruka Says
by sa-ta-yu-chi-chan
Summary: Hotaru likes Ruka, but unemotional as she is, no one knows about it. Ruka also likes Hotaru, but he does not realize it until she was gone. Would they still meet and end up happy together?
1. I Need You Hotaru

Greetings to all! This is my very first, so please understand!

Disclaimer: If I own Gakuen Alice, then I would not write here in FanFiction!

Hotaru and her classmates are fifteen year olds at the start of this story, and they are in their last year of middle school.

**Ruka Says…**

**Chapter 1. I Need You Hotaru**

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Hotaru sighed as she heard the knocking on her previously peaceful room. It was nearly seven in the evening and she was busy working on her latest invention that would be due in three days. But now, as she guessed that the knocks were from her boy friend (with the space! Though she secretly wished there was none), Ruka Nogi, she would never finish even the framework tonight. This is because she's fully aware that that friend of hers would bug her again to cry his heart out, complain, and say that he is jealous of his other friend, blah blah.

She then momentarily stopped working, walked across the room, and opened the door. Truly, her guess was correct. It was Ruka with a sad look in his face. She sighed again. She knew that aside from not being able to finish her new invention, she would again hear some things that she does not want to hear. It would truly hurt her again, without him knowing. But despite this, she still welcomed him into her room everytime he needs some company.

"What do you want?" Hotaru asked him unemotionally, as always, managing to hide his true emotions to anyone.

"Well, to start off, … can you first let me enter?" Ruka then said to her.

Hotaru then moved a little to the side of the door in order for him to enter. He then walked to the chair beside her study table and sat. She then closed the door, followed him, and pretend to continue to work.

"You're working on a new invention? What is that called?" Ruka asked her uninterestingly.

"Can't you see I'm busy? Can't you just go straight to the point? I know you're not really interested. Why are you here again? What do you want?" Hotaru managed to asked, even though she felt that his answers would surely hurt her, … again.

"To tell you the truth, Mikan said to me earlier that she has already someone she likes. Obviously it's not me because she asks for my help on how to deal with it and finally to confess. As you know, I still like her very much that's why it hurts. Now I don't know what to do." Ruka said this to her almost in a whisper, while looking down on his lap. He did not notice (again) that Hotaru was already showing some of her emotion, that is hurt, much the same as his feeling right now …

Before any one of them would breakdown by crying, she did what came first to her mind, what she used to do with him.

Click. Click. Click.

Ruka suddenly faced her and looked into her purple eyes. Then said, "Why did you do that? I'm serious, you know."

"Well being serious would not do any better to your problems, you know," she was surprised as she said that as she was also guilty of that. 'Actually, she was more guilty of that being serious than him,' she thought to herself. So to divert their attentions and forget their loneliness, she ran to the outside of her room, waving the freshly printed picture of Ruka that was nearly going to cry. (By the way, that was another one of her inventions. A digital camera that has a built-in printer, colored inks, and hundreds of photo papers of varying sizes in it. Well, I don't know how that fits in the palm-sized camera. What I know is that it was built for convenience, as it would print any of the pictures stored in its memory in a click.)

"Come and get this from me before somebody else would buy this for a great price," Hotaru said to him while running on the corridor, going to the lobby, as her duck scooter was parked there.

"Hotaru, give that back. Who ever gave you the right to depress a person that is already depressed, huh?" Ruka questioned him while running after her. He thought about what she said awhile ago and realized that yeah crying, or even being lonely would not make the situation better. And deep inside, he wants to thank her for lifting the miserable mood.

"What's the matter, Ruka? You seemed to be slowing down. Thinking about surrendering already?" Hotaru spoked as she was about to ride the duck scooter.

"No!" Ruka answered as he ordered a horse to let him ride and run after her.

The chasing continued until they realized that they're already in Central Town. So they decided to stop and buy some food as they both didn't have dinner yet. They then laughed at their actions of chasing each other at this hour of the night.

"Thank you," Ruka finally muttered to Hotaru while purchasing some snacks and drinks to take home.

Hotaru looked at him thinking that she's alright with his terms of gratitude but she wants more from him. Then she said (to hide again her true feelings), "Didn't know you actually like the fact that I took embarrassing pictures of yours."

"That's not it. Thanks for making me forget the pain I felt awhile ago."

Hotaru then looked away, while already starting to walk back to the dorms as they already bought enough and while thinking 'if you only knew that I felt the same pain awhile ago and up to now' as a reply to him. She was now the one who was being hurt and with no one to comfort her. She sighed.

He heard this and said, "What's the matter? Still hungry? We can eat these all when we reach your room."

"Thanks," she said to him. At least that means I have some company until they both finish all those food, and the company would be him.

When they were already inside her room, indulging on the food they bought, they were both surprised at the quantity of it. So they just ate to their stomach's and heart's content. They were then surprised again that there was a liquor on their purchase. Because they previously swore that they would finish eating all before he can go to his room and they could both sleep, Ruka decided to drink it. Hotaru just continue her eating and doesn't mind Ruka already being slightly drunk and sleepy. After an hour, they already finished eating all. Ruka was already lying on her bed but was still awake. And Hotaru was cleaning up the trash and some food debris on the floor. She then went to the bathroom to brush her teeth, etc. When he left the bathroom, she saw an already snoring Ruka on her bed. She then looked at her baby-like face and then realized that she could not sleep again … just like before.

She then thought of the first time that they lay down on the same bed. It was the New Year back when they were in elementary, when Tsubasa added some powder to their mochu. She slept well that night, as back then she did not fell anything towards him, not like the second time. Yeah, there was a second time. This was already when they were in their first year of middle school, and Hotaru has just realized that she somehow likes him. That was now the reason why she couldn't sleep beside him, just like now. By the way, Ruka was there in her bed at that time, the same as this incident too. That is, he felt lonely about Mikan spending more time with his friend more than any one of her other friends, and he needed Hotaru as someone to listen to. But, unintentionally, while waiting for her to finish what she was working on at the time, he fell asleep.

As Hotaru knew she could not sleep while he's there, she then looked again at her face and saw that it was already smiling unlike earlier this night. She then scolded herself. She hated herself for being like that. For being herself. For always being unemotional. For always showing that she does not care but inside she also felt happiness, or loneliness. She just hates it. But that's just the way she is. And she has no plans of changing her self, even for him. No, she thought. And yes, she have succeeded in that. Then she sighed yet again and then decided that she'll just continue her new invention. So she worked until morning came.

So what do you think? Please review so that I can improve myself and the succeeding chapters. Yeah actually I already finished planning on how this story will go on but I can change some and then include your suggestions. Thanks.

By the way, in case you're interested, this chapter was inspired by the songs _Kung Ako Na Lang Sana by Bituin Escalante _and _Insomnia by Craig David._


	2. See You Soon Hotaru

Greetings again! Thanks to all that have read and appreciated the first chapter, especially to and also Yatsuiko-chan, who were the first ones who reviewed it.

Disclaimer: If I own Gakuen Alice, then I would not write here in FanFiction!

**Ruka Says…**

**Chapter 2. See You Soon Hotaru**

Weeks passed since the sad but sweet incident in Hotaru's room, and their graduation day is nearing! They all become busy as each passing day. All were busy reviewing for their final exams while also preparing the program for the said event. But Hotaru's busy-ness had become more unusual than before, and nobody knows why. She just declared to her friends that there were more business people who have subscribed to her inventions and they believed it somehow. 'Hah, they should have known better about me,' Hotaru thought.

Meanwhile, under a Sakura tree, Natsume, the friend of Ruka, finally confessed his feelings to Mikan, the friend of Hotaru who was also the one Ruka thought she likes. Mikan was confused at first but managed to understand at last and also confessed to him. And so wanting to share her joy (of being in a relationship already before the end of middle school) to her friend, he searched for Hotaru. But as she was busier than usual, Mikan being as oblivious as always instead talked to Ruka about it, the same as when she talked to him the last time asking about how to confess, that lead to you-know-what (the last chapter).

"Ruka, remember last time when I said to you that I already like someone?" asked Mikan innocently.

"Uh, yeah …" Ruka replied while thinking it hurts to remember.

"Well Natsume is the one that I like and he already confessed to me this morning," Mikan exclaimed while smiling unconsciously.

"Oh, really, " Ruka whispered while thinking, 'that lucky guy' and 'what's the worse to come?'

Seeing that Ruka is already facing down, Mikan said "I thought you'd be interested."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, please go on," Ruka said trying to smile while in regret.

"Well I also said to him that I like him, and so we're a couple now," Mikan continued.

"Is that so?" Ruka managed to say.

"Yeah" Mikan replied.

"Enjoy! I remember I have to meet somebody for the program. Bye," Ruka finally exited the dreaded dialogue.

He then tried to find Hotaru to share the pain, again, and find comfort, again. Yet, he failed to find her in her room, in her lab, nor in the canteen. When he was already going to stop searching for her at the meantime, he saw her went out of the teacher's faculty room. He immediately approached her.

"Hotaru!" Ruka called her.

"Ruka," Hotaru turned to look at him showing a very little sign of being surprised.

"Are you busy again today? I haven't talked to you for a while," Ruka asked her.

"Yes, I'm still busy," Hotaru answered him while bombarding him with more questions, " What's your problem with that? And what's your problem now that you want to talk to me?"

"Well, it's about Natsume and Mikan," he stated while they were already walking towards her laboratory.

"You should learn to handle your own problems from now on, Ruka," Hotaru interrupted him.

Ruka faced her and questioned, "Why?"

Hotaru didn't answer him and looked away.

"Why are you like that today? What happened to you? Do you know what happened to me today? Do you even care what I heard?" Ruka outbursted his feelings of loneliness and anger on her, and he is sorry for that, but he already said it anyway.

But Hotaru, realizing that she already knew the reason why he's like that and she's hurt again, did not replied anything again. And with that, Ruka already lost his temper. (So sorry, I know that Ruka is so understanding, but I couldn't think of any other situation that would result to my plan, sorry again for this ooc Ruka)

"Awhile ago Mikan told me that she and Natsume already confessed to each other! Do you know what that means? It means that I already lost!" Ruka shouted. And hearing not even a single response from Hotaru, he continued, "Do you know the feeling of liking a person that likes somebody else? Huh, Hotaru? Have you ever liked someone even? Most probably not, huh? As you can't even show even a happy emotion, what more if like or love, huh?"

"You're wrong!" Hotaru interrupted. Ruka was surprised at the response hence he asked her what she means.

"I've already liked someone, and I like him still up to now," Hotaru declared.

Ruka was now really surprised at the response. This is because they've never talked about it, or rather, Hotaru never even mentioned someone liking before. And so he became curious. Maybe he even forgot his problem for now. He just naively asked her, "do I know him?"

"You should, maybe, I don't know all that you know, it all depends on you," Hotaru replied showing a very slight sign of nervousness.

Ruka thought about what Hotaru told him. And it took him several seconds to realize that Hotaru was now gone to her laboratory and he was now left alone outside the building. He then went to the dormitories to rest for he was surely tired after the whole day's happening.

After about two weeks it was already their middle school graduation!

After all the ceremonies, speeches of the teachers and principals, and intermission numbers, they finally announced the top three students of the graduating class. As usual, Natsume, Hotaru, and Yuu. After that, the emcee announced that the middle school principal has something very important to announce.

"Today, we witnessed all of you graduate from middle school. But not all of you would be here, for us to witness your high school graduation three years from now," the middle school principle announced.

There were murmurs all over. Yet she continued, "that is because two of the graduates will be studying in the International Alice Institution, Europe branch, for their high school. It's a very rare opportunity and we're very proud that after many years Alice Academy of Japan there's two students this year that are qualified."

And now all were quiet. No one seemed to know who would leave them, and who would be left. Then, the middle school principal spoke and announced their names, "Yumi Takashi, with the alchemy alice; and, Hotaru Imai, with the invention alice."

They were all shocked at the announcement (well they would really still be shocked whoever names were announced), especially the close friends of the two, including of course Mikan, Natsume, Ruka, Yuu, and all others with same age as them.

Mikan was the first one who shouted after the long silence, "Hotaru is that really true? Why didn't you tell us?"

Ruka also spoked, or asked, "Hotaru?" that's all he managed to say. But then he thought, 'maybe that's why she told me to handle my problems from now on.'

Just then the principal added, "They were aware of their candidacy for almost a month, but they were also not aware of the final decision until this morning so they didn't say anything beforehand. They would leave in a week, and so enjoy the time left with them. Congratulations to all the graduates again!"

After the ceremony, unhappy faces were surely seen on the fresh graduates. And they talked to those who would leave one-by-one. Ruka waited for Hotaru as he would like to apologize for the past shouting incident that happened. And that he wasn't aware that she also has her own problems.

"I'm sorry for what happened last last week. I didn't think that you have also had your own problems to deal with. I'm selfish at that time, sorry. My mind was just so disorganized," Ruka finally confronted her.

"That's all right. I didn't think about that already. Don't worry. I also don't want any bad memories with me when I leave," Hotaru replied.

"So can we go to Central Town tomorrow for more good memories?" Ruka suggested.

"Sure," Hotaru replied.

"We should also include our other friends in tomorrow's trip, ok?" Ruka suggested again.

"Fine," Hotaru simply replied.

"See you," Ruka motioned to go while smiling.

"See you," Hotaru repeated, with also a smile, a very very little one though.

The next day, Hotaru was already nowhere to be found. Only very short letters to all her friends, maybe all her classmates, too, were found in her room. To summarize, it all stated that she's sorry as she couldn't say good bye to them or she couldn't also bear to being said goodbye to. And that she is safe. And that they should all take care of themselves.

So how is it? I would like to apologize again for ooc Ruka. Please suggest/review. Thanks.


	3. I Miss You Hotaru

Greetings to all! My apologies for I had a long break from this! Well, I did not mean to, but academic schedule's really tight, so my time for this is really minimized. So now there's a short break, I decided that I'd continue and finish this. Thank you!!!

**Ruka Says…**

**Chapter 3. I Miss You Hotaru**

Almost a year after Yumi and Hotaru's departure . . .

The high school freshman had already acknowledged the fact that two of their previous middle classmates were now studying in the International Alice Institution, Europe branch. Well, except for a few, and that would include Ruka Nogi.

So, Ruka Nogi still could not believe that his 'friend' Hotaru was, is, and would be studying in a far Alice Institution for her entire high school. Thus, he would frequently think, or daydream, of her, and their previous memories. And this ordinary school day would be no exception . . .

As Ruka was walking from their dormitories to their classrooms, he saw two elementary students, a boy and a girl. The little boy was chasing the little girl, who was holding some sort of paper.

"Hey, give that back to me! That's not yours!" said the little boy, as Ruka passed by.

"No! It's mine already! Besides you're so careless and easy to deceive you know," answered the little girl.

Just then, Ruka remembered that, for many years, he and Hotaru were also like that. And those were not just a few instances, but countless indeed. He then chuckled a bit and wondered if it would ever happen again. He then laughed at that thought as he was the victim yet he was willing to sacrifice if that would make her be here again. 'Ha! I'm somehow desperate,' he thought.

Inside their classroom, while they're new teacher Megumi was discussing, Ruka's mind was somewhat flying somewhere. His eyes were looking here and there, across the whole classroom, looking for something more interesting to watch other than the teacher at front. He then noticed that Yuu was still absent, meaning he still has flu that was aching him since four days ago. After that he turned his head slightly and noticed that Natsume and Mikan were also absent. He then concluded that they were again on a mission, as they wished that they go together. While mulling over these things, he suddenly heard his name being called.

"Ruka Nogi? Your answer please," said the teacher.

Ruka then remembered that without Yuu, Natsume and Mikan, he was the next student that would probably be most called for recitation by this teacher. He then sighed, and then politely asked what the question was.

The teacher then replied, "What were you thinking? I just asked who the most productive inventor in history was. This was just a review from the handouts I gave you." (This question was from an encyclopedia for kids! I just find it easy but appropriate.)

"Uhm, right. It was Thomas Alva Edison," Ruka answered. Just then a thought crossed his mind. 'Maybe Hotaru, as an industrious alice as she is, could surpass Edison, or maybe she already had,' Ruka wondered.

"You're right Nogi," said the teacher.

After that, Ruka's mind wandered again. He thought that he still misses Hotaru indeed and contemplated that if only she was here, then he would not be the one that would always be questioned for recitation. He then smiled and reflected 'what an excuse!' Then the wandering continued until their lunch break.

At the high school canteen or dining area, students were served based on their star level again. Ruka, being a special already, has his own special table/place there. Despite that, he can still hear some of the conversations of other students on nearby three-star tables, especially if the topic is related to you-know-who!

"My favorite sea food meal is those with large shrimps," said the one of those in a nearby table.

Ruka then heard the response of her companion, "mine is those with lobsters and crabs."

He also heard the reactions of their other buddies, "yeah, especially the crab meat and brain, it's very tasty."

So a certain someone crossed his mind again, while eating his vegetable mix meal. He remembered that what the three-star students were talking about were the favorite food of Hotaru too. He then laughed at himself, again, for thinking about those things, making his sentiment towards her more obvious.

After their lunch break was their physical education class. For this day, they would play soccer, and Ruka was the goalkeeper for their team. For the first two tries of their opponents, which were also their classmates by the way, he managed to catch the ball. But for the succeeding tries, the ball passed the goal. He then reminisced another incident with Hotaru. That was when they were in elementary, when Mikan wanted to play dodgeball with Natsume etc so as to make them enjoy their time. He remembered that Hotaru was always using her invention, her catching gadget, so as to facilitate her movements. He then sensed that if only she and her gadgets were here, and if its use was allowed, then the game would be a lot easier to win.

Later that afternoon, Ruka was assigned to pick up some trash in an old arts and culture classroom. There he found an old leftover school project pieces composed of broken egg shell pieces, dried glue, cardboard, sand particles and purple marbles. Just then an idea or a memory rather, suddenly popped up to his mind as he was picking up those things. And as evident as always, it was Hotaru Imai in his mind again!

From the broken egg shell pieces along with the sand particles, he thought of Hotaru's first day in the academy. That was because back then she used her egg helmet invention as she said that the air or the surroundings of the academy is polluted. That's where the sand particles come in, as proof of the pollution. Then she did not talk to anyone for the whole day. 'How come I remember that first encounter so vividly?' inquired Ruka to himself.

After that, he then swept the dried glue and pieces of cardboard off the floor. Then he picked up the scattered purple marbles left on the floor. While doing that, all of a sudden a particular figure appeared in his mind again. 'This looks like her emotionless but vibrant eyes!' he exclaimed. 'Wait, whoa! I have thought of her so many times already for this day! What's happening to me?' he unexpectedly realized.

At that moment, a student that was also assigned to clean the music room beside the room where Ruka was cleaning suddenly yelled, "give me that money!"

Then Ruka heard a reply from another girl, also from that direction, "what? Does this small amount really matter to you?"

"Yes! Money is money, you know!" the loud spoken girl screamed again.

'Just like someone I know' Ruka thought to himself, as he remembered the times when Hotaru often claim back the money or debts of her classmates or subscribers to her.

Unexpectedly, the loud conversation in the other room still continued. And it was somehow still related to Hotaru, and of course Ruka never failed to observe that.

"Baka, Baka, Baka! There are other more important things that money, you know!" said the other girl.

"Really? Then tell me what these other things are? Huh?" replied the girl confidently.

"Baka, Baka, Baka! For example, health, friendship and love!" declared the other girl.

As Ruka thought of Hotaru again, because of the saying of Baka thing to a friend, he exited the room and went away, as he was already finished cleaning. He would not also dare listen to other people's conversation anymore. He would also like to rest his mind of thinking too much.

So as he was walking away from the school building to the dormitories, he came across again with the two elementary kids that he met on his way this morning. They were still running, and arguing, same as this morning.

"I'll never let you go this time," said the young boy.

"Try it. Come and get me," said the young girl as Ruka surpassed them.

At that point, Ruka was struck by the words. Even though it sounds so ordinary and familiar, it somehow affects him a lot, especially now. Yet he could not fully understand why.

'I know that I really miss Hotaru a lot, but I think there's something more. But I could not figure it out yet,' Ruka thought.

'Maybe the dormitories would just bore me and make me think more, so I would just go to Central Town to freshen up,' he decided.

In the Central Town, his mind is a bit relaxing, yeah, but somehow a part of it was still thinking of the day's happenings. So then, he gave up, went to a nearby coffee shop, and thought about his feelings.

'Why do I miss her so much?' he questioned himself.

As he was thinking about it, he heard another customer at the shop whispered to his friend, "maybe that person is more than a friend to you."

'That was supposed to be a whisper, so why am I hearing such things?' Ruka mentally said to himself.

Then another thought came to his mind, 'wait, maybe she's really more than just a friend, but why, and, . . . what?'

Just then he heard another whisper from that person, from a young male actually, "maybe you have feelings for that person already."

'What feelings? I don't understand!' Ruka mentally answered the young man whispering at a table behind him.

"Maybe you just, uhmm, like or love that person already for example," the man behind him suddenly stated.

'What??? Like someone who was really there when needed but doesn't really give what you exactly needed? This is incomprehensible! It's like meeting with a person who's physically present but is mentally, emotionally, and socially absent!' Ruka mentally replied once again to the dialogue he has just heard.

"Not really," said the man from behind once again. Then he added, "It's because you said that you think of that person lots of times and at various incidents, right? That means even that person's physical presence is what you treasure and remember most."

'What? I still do not understand!' Ruka whispered to himself as he curved down (remember he's sitting in a table in a coffee shop) so as to rest his head on the table so as to think more.

While doing that, he didn't notice that the young man who was whispering to his friend went out the coffee shop already. This young man just happened to be his mind-reading classmate, and was smiling with his friend as they went out. At the same time, other customers entered the place but Ruka failed to notice these things as he was still resting his head down the table.

But then, at that point in time, while Ruka was resting (or thinking) most of the other customers began to talk at the same time about his current situation/feeling. And he heard all of those.

"I also miss my friend a lot. I wish she would come back soon," said a young boy.

"Me too. I love my friend. I want to follow her to where she has gone to," said a young girl.

"You'll know if it's love if you go a bit crazy and think about that person a lot, maybe more than you think of yourself, right?" said another young girl.

"I like you. Sorry I did not realize it sooner," said a young man.

"I'm sorry too. It's too late for that now," said a young woman.

"You know, many people say that you'll only know a person's true worth when he/she's gone," said an elderly woman.

"Ah, there's also that saying, little works of a certain person can make you feel special if only he/she's special to you," said a lady in early twenties.

"No you said it wrong. The right one is that, "anyone can make you feel special by doing something, but only someone special can make you feel special without actually doing anything"" said another young lady.

"Yeah, love indeed moves in mysterious ways. You can actually love a person that is much different from what you originally planned or imagined. It comes out and you'll realize it unplanned usually," said a young gentleman.

"I agree. But most of all, you definitely need him/her, but you also consider his/her feelings so you readily give in, and you're willing to sacrifice for that same person. You should be also willing to wait for him/her alone if you want to," said an emo man.

Then, to add to all of those, he recalled the incidences of the whole day's happenings, of how he always thought about her in loads of moments he's in; especially the encounter with the elementary kids.

As he was unable to control his present situation, he suddenly cried out, "Alright! Stop it. I like Hotaru vey much!!! And I'm going to wait for her and find her!" while he jumped off his chair.

Then he realized that, he was already alone in the coffee shop. He then wondered if that were all dream. 'But then, the conversations were so vividly real' he argued.

. . .

Then he laughed. 'Whatever' he said to himself. Even if it was just a dream, at least I've realized something.

Haha! At last! Well sorry for the ooc loner Ruka. Thank you for reading! Please suggest/review.


	4. song

Greetings to all! I'm so sorry for the very long time time that I haven't updated (Huhu!). And thank you very much for all the reviews: Yatsuiko-chan, JustinneXD, animeprincess22, minami uguisu, hime uguisu, especially to those who recently bugged me, you made me guilty you know, you should know who you are.

In order to make up for that, here's a song dedicated to all and of course to the two. Who else but Hotaru and Ruka! Or rather, just imagine them singing this song to each other! (yeah, this is not a chapter, just a song, not mine, I'll upload the chapter later today.) But even if this is not really a chapter in itself, please read it still or sing it if you know, in order to prepare or to not be surprised for the upcoming events and the big time skip in the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own GA. I don't own this song.

Here goes . . . It really fits this part of the story, Haha!

Cannot touch  
Cannot hold  
Cannot be together

Cannot love  
Cannot kiss  
Cannot have each other

Must be strong  
And we must let go  
Cannot say  
What our hearts must know

How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
here in my arms?

How does one walks away  
From all the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
when you are gone?

Cannot dream  
Cannot share  
Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel  
How we feel  
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave  
And we must go on  
Must not say  
What we've known all along

How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
here in my arms?

How does one walks away  
From all the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
when you are gone?  
How can I not love you . . .

Must be brave  
and we must be strong  
Cannot say  
What we've known all along

How can I not love you?  
What do I tell my heart?  
When do I not want you  
here in my arms?

How does one walks away  
From all the memories?  
How do I not miss you  
when you are gone?

How can I not love you . . .  
When you are you gone......

This song is **How Can I Not Love You by Joy Enriquez. **It's somehow sad, but sweet and very beautiful nonetheless. Thank you very much again, and please wait for the real chapter later!**  
**


	5. I Love You Hotaru

Greetings! Here's the chapter finally! Thank you!

**Ruka Says…**

**Chapter 4. I Love You Hotaru**

It's now five years after Hotaru and Yumi has left and hadn't contacted their former classmates. They're all twenty years old, and they've already graduated from the Alice Academy High School. Most of them also have recently finished college and have their own stable jobs already. (Well I know college is a long way, but five years is already too long for their separation, haha, so there.) Mikan is a caregiver/cheer giver to patients and various other people. Natsume is a private detective police officer. Yeah, he doesn't use his alice anymore. Yuu and Koko are psychologists. And Ruka is a veterinarian and has his own clinic.

One afternoon, Ruka was walking mindlessly around the city. He's usually doing this either early in the morning or late in the afternoon to be preoccupied and to not waste his time just staring around his condo unit. He also does this to not feel so alone, too. As he was doing this usual walk, he came across an intersection he had never been before. He just went on walking until he became tired and hungry. He suddenly realized that it's almost dinnertime and he didn't even have his snack yet. So he decided to eat out tonight. He was then surprised that at the end of the unfamiliar street he was walking, there stood a fancy "Eat Healthy" restaurant. And so, he settled on eating there for this night, as he thought that there has to be his favorite vegetable dishes served there, as all of his favorites were really healthy.

As he entered, he praised himself and the restaurant itself, for it indeed serves his favorites. There were just some additional few things he didn't quite expect (but also hoped for at the back of his mind if they were only together at the moment ). 'Seafoods, . . . I know they're healthy, but, … why now? … when she's not yet back…' Ruka thought.

Nevertheless, he still continued to sit and wait for the waiter to take his order. 'Yeah, I miss her a lot, and I love her very much, and it only grows even more as time passes by,' he thought to himself while waiting and then sighed. His thinking was then interrupted by the waiter.

"Good evening! What's your order, sir? Our specialties for tonight are Vegetarian Olive-oil Fried Rice, Ceasar Salad, Seafood Paella, Tuna Steak with Vegetables. We also have Tuna Sushi, Crabs and Lobsters," the waiter enthusiastically declared.

"I'll have the first two, and also lemonade and this tiramisu," Ruka replied while pointing his finger at the menu.

"Coming right up, sir," the waiter enthusiastically pronounced.

When his orders were served, he ate to his content. 'Hah, aside from helping and being with his pet and patient animals, this is another thing that brings joy to me, making me forget my problems,' he thought. Well, that was after all his classmates and friends have their own busy life already. Because before they went their separate ways, they usually went out together to help each other out. And because of that also, all his friends already knew his true feelings towards Hotaru, and they're sorry for the both of them. And since they knew about it, they're finding out Hotaru's whereabouts.

As already mentioned, Hotaru and Yumi haven't communicated with any of them. However, as both have well-admired and very useful talents (as ordinary people would say), or alices (for people like them), they have supporters or fans or paparazzi just like actors and actresses. They're also usually featured in business, science and technology magazines. So somehow, their friends still manage to know that they're doing fine or great rather. And also, that they're already back to Japan, though their exact locations are unknown to anybody.

Meanwhile, when he finished all his food, and paid for his bill, he decided to stay for awhile inside as his stomach is so heavy, from eating so much. He then moved and sat on a couch provided for some waiting customers at peak hours, and read a health and lifestyle magazine. After about half an hour, he thought of going home already. But just then, his cellular phone rang. He searched through his pocket for it and looked at its screen. 'It's Natsume. What could be the reason he's calling now when he's on a secret case working on,' he thought.

"Hello Natsume? What's up?" Ruka greeted.

"Hey. Fine. Mikan called me. There's another sighting. She's found going out of the new hundred storey building. She's now being followed by a small group of her supporters around the block." Natsume simply narrated.

"Thanks," Ruka replied then hung up.

Ruka then put his phone back to his pocket then ran out of the fancy restaurant. It's the fifth time this month that she has been sighted nearby, and it's already the middle of the second week! This was all thanks to the effort of his faithful friends. He then mentally pleaded, 'Hotaru, please let me see you now, please.'

As he was saying this, his eyes closed slightly, showing his sincerity about his small (it's actually big) wish. Because of that, he didn't notice that another person was hurriedly entering the slightly tinted door of the restaurant while he was running out.

And, BAM! They collided! And they both fell!

"Ouch!" Ruka complained.

When he got up, he noticed that the person he bumped was a lady in plain white blouse and denim pants. He can't see her face as she already stood up and was facing the opposite direction, to the inner part of the restaurant, as if nothing happened. Still, he still felt the need to apologize. And he did. "Sorry," he said while bowing slightly, before adding "I was not looking."

"You should be. Are you going to pay for the damages?" Ruka heard her say while still bowing, and was very surprised at the familiar words, tone, and voice.

So he again looked at the lady, who now faced him, and they were both shocked.

. . .

Both were speechless

. . .

And both were just staring at each other

. . .

For about

. . .

5 minutes

. . .

Or more

. . .

Until Ruka said, ". . . Uhm, . . . hello."

"Are you gonna pay or what?" the lady, who turned out to be Hotaru, answered him.

"Uhh, . . . okey, I'll treat you here for dinner," Ruka then replied.

"Then I want all of their specialties for tonight," Hotaru then answered back, after thinking for sometime, while walking to an empty table.

Ruka then followed, with the surprised expression still very visible on his face. He then ordered what Hotaru wanted; and just watched her eat them all.

Ruka was not surprised at all at her appetite, nor at her attitude and appearance; but at her sudden appearance in front of him, in a random place, away from what Natsume had mentioned. And as he wondered about this thing, he was just plainly looking at her face as she eats. With this, Hotaru began to be annoyed after some time. She then said, "You should eat also; you look like a beggar pleading at me."

"Uhh, no, uhh, sorry, I ate already," Ruka then said slightly looking away from her as he thought, 'yeah, I was pleading for you to be back ever since I realized a feeling.'

Hotaru then finished her food in silence.

When Hotaru finished her food, and Ruka paid the bill, Hotaru then stood up, ready to leave. Ruka then stopped her and said, "I have a question."

"What could that be?" she replied unmindfully, not even bothering to sit down again.

"Could you please sit down again?" Ruka asked.

"Is that your only question?" Hotaru answered.

"No, uhhmm, please," Ruka again replied while pointing to the sit opposite him.

When Hotaru sat already, Ruka gathered up his courage to ask . . . "How are you?" Sighs. 'I have many more questions to ask her, but this is all I can, for now,' he thought.

"I'm fine. I'm making a lot of money. My inventions are still selling," Hotaru directly stated.

Ruka, expecting more answers than this, asked again, "I know that. It's all over the news. What I mean is, uhhmm, how has life been for you? I mean, what have you been through all these years? Why haven't you contacted any one of us?"

Hotaru didn't change his facial expression. But deep inside her, this is what she's been afraid of ever since being away. This feeling of guilt, of not being able to do anything about what she really wants, and of letting the secret out. She then sighed, and then answered, "It was really okey. IAI (International Alice Institution) is much larger than Alice Academy here. We were all treated fine. I just don't have much to say to you."

Ruka didn't really expect her to answer it truthfully the first time anyone of her previous classmates would ask. And so, he just felt that she's hiding it. So he replied to her, "I don't believe you. If I only knew, maybe IAI was much stricter than AA, and they don't also allow any form of outside connection, whether incoming or outgoing."

"What's the use of asking if you already knew," Hotaru then mumbled.

"So it's true," reacted Ruka. Then he added, "What about now? You're already free right? Why are you still hiding?"

Hotaru was now having a hard time answering his questions. She knew it may lead to a topic she doesn't want, and that is . . . her top secret feeling for him. But sensing that she's there already, she won't turn back anyhow. So she revealed, "there exists a contract that whoever studies in IAI is required to work for them there for a year after graduation, so all my earnings for my stay there is given to them. Now I'm saving again. Well it's good they didn't get my previous savings." Ruka couldn't say anything about it, and surprisingly Hotaru continued, sensing his quiet demand for her to continue, "I also don't know how to face any of you again, and I don't want any of my supporters running after me all the time so I decided to make it all a secret. It's not so hard for me after all; I'm making disguises, as you can see."

Ruka then understood. 'So that was why there were lots of false alarms, of sightings of her around the city for the past weeks, and she's actually dressed in very common clothing with no accessories.' 'But wait,' Ruka thought again, 'does that mean she's ashamed of not being able to contact us back in high school and so she just continued it?' he realized. And so he replied immediately, "That's alright. Don't hide from us now. You're here already."

Hotaru was quite surprised at his response, though her face didn't show any of it. She then began to be quiet, as she already said all that he asked for. Ruka then felt she's not answering back anymore. And so he said, "I have another question."

"What again?" Hotaru replied, already showing a very little sign of irritation.

Ruka then blurted out nervously, "do you still like the person you said you liked before you left?" (please refer to chapter 2, haha!)

Hotaru was again surprised but then honestly replied, "Yes. Why do you care?"

"You said I know him, right?" Ruka then questioned him again nervously.

"Yeah, you should," Hotaru said while thinking, 'you should know yourself, you know.'

"Uh, nothing. It's just that, . . ., never mind," Ruka stated, thinking about how could he say it to her, specially now that she still has a person she likes.

Hotaru, on the other hand, stood up, ready to leave . . . again, knowing that this is off topic already for her.

"Wait, wait, wait," Ruka stopped her again while holding her hand. "I have one more question, please sit down."

Hotaru sat again after a few seconds of Ruka's begging.

"I'm sorry that I haven't realized this until you're gone. You're really very nice and also beautiful. And I missed you," Ruka said in mono-syllables to her, due to nervousness.

With this said, Hotaru was now really surprised, and it's now showing on her face. But, she still managed to fight off the topic by saying, "do you call those statements as questions now?"

Ruka was now the one who's surprised. And so he replied shyly, "sorry, what I mean to say is . . .Uhhh"

"What? You're wasting my time now, Ruka," Hotaru stated.

Ruka, hearing his name from her after five years, finally managed to whisper to her, "I love you Hotaru. I know this may be too late already, but, uhhmm, . . . would … you … be … my … girlfriend?"

"Finally," Hotaru whispered.

Ruka didn't understand what she whispered so he said, "what?"

"The one I liked all these years is you, stupid fellow," Hotaru simply stated, as if that was just an ordinary sentence not a confession.

Ruka was very very surprised at this, 'cause never did he imagine that these events would happen in just one day! "So it's a yes?" he again asked her.

Hotaru couldn't also believe that this is now happening, but she's really really happy. Who would not be? The secret is no longer a secret, the dreaded unhappy moment isn't gonna happen, and the unexpected is now going on. Because of this, she decided to do a little trick on him. She said, "There's one condition," in reply to his earlier question.

Ruka wondered and now he's frightened what could that condition be, knowing her way of doing things. Finally he said, "What … is the … condition?"

"You should marry me," Hotaru plainly stated, just like her confession, as if saying an ordinary command.

"What???" Ruka exclaimed. Now he was not just surprised. He was also stunned, shocked, amazed, flabbergasted, and astonished! He then doubted, 'could this be just a dream already? Maybe this is another product of being alone again while eating.'

His thoughts were interrupted when Hotaru said, "Why? Are you now quitting? What's the use of asking me to be your girlfriend if you have no plans of marrying me? Being tied together in marriage should be part of the plan the day you consider someone to be your special someone."

Ruka was again astounded. . .

And so was Hotaru at herself. . .

They were both surprised at the turn of the events, at themselves, and at each other. And so, they were left there, as the last two costumers of the fancy "Eat Healthy" restaurant, staring wordlessly at each other . . . for 5 . . . minutes . . . or more . . . again . . .

How about that? Haha! It's very sweet, isn't it? They still love each other very much even after the separation (or maybe because of the separation? haha). Oh and by the way, that last line of Hotaru, I got that idea from an interview of a local celebrity. (See, I really don't own any of this, just my imagination of putting the pieces all together!) Please review, comment, suggest. If you'd not, I'll still give my gratitude to all of you, appreciative readers!

For your information, this chapter is inspired by the song _Hello _by _Ogie Alcasid_. For lyrics and additional details, please see my profile.

Thank you again for reading!!!


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